Scooby Snacks and Sous Vide: The Haunted Kitchen Mystery
Fan Fiction Friday
(All characters and events below are fictional and written in a spirit of parody and respect.)
[Scene: An abandoned TV studio, once home to a cooking show called “Haute & Haunted.” The set lights flicker as fog rolls across the stage. A faint clatter echoes from the prep counter.]
VELMA: Jinkies! Those pots are moving on their own!
SHAGGY: Like, I told you we shouldn’t have come in here, Scoob! Haunted spatulas are way above my pay grade.
SCOOBY: Ruh-roh… rhaunted kitchen!
ALTON BROWN (entering, flashlight in hand): Team, stay calm. If my calculations are correct, those “haunted” pots are just responding to pressure differentials from a faulty sous vide circulator.
DAPHNE: A… what now?
ALTON: A precision water bath, Daphne. It cooks food at exact temperatures. But someone—or something—has tampered with it.
FRED: Sounds like a mystery. Gang, let’s split up! Alton, you and Velma check the pantry. I’ll take Daphne, and Shaggy—
SHAGGY: —and me and Scoob will, uh, stand guard by the snacks! Right, buddy?
SCOOBY: Reah! Scooby snacks!
[Cut to Velma and Alton in the pantry.]
VELMA: Look at this! A data log of temperature fluctuations every night at 3:00 AM.
ALTON: Interesting. It’s as if someone’s trying to simulate ghostly movement by triggering kitchen equipment remotely. Classic misuse of IoT devices.
VELMA: Internet of Things…? You mean someone hacked the appliances?
ALTON: Exactly. Someone who understands both cooking and coding.
[Meanwhile, in the main kitchen, pots bang and steam hisses.]
SHAGGY: Zoinks! The blender’s possessed!
ALTON (rushing in): Not possessed—programmed!
(He flips a breaker and the appliances stop cold.)
ALTON: Whoever built this ghost act used smart plugs, motion sensors, and a bad sense of drama.
VELMA (holding a tablet): I’ve got the culprit’s IP address. It’s… the former host of “Haute & Haunted”!
DAPHNE: But why?
FORMER HOST (appearing dramatically): They canceled my show for being too spooky! I wanted to prove food television was still alive—literally!
FRED: And you’d have gotten away with it too—
SHAGGY: —if it weren’t for this meddling chef and his sous vide gizmo!
[Closing scene: The gang gathers around Alton’s mobile kitchen setup.]
ALTON: I’ve recalibrated the circulator for something less ghostly—smoky pumpkin bisque.
SHAGGY: Like, finally! A spirit I can get behind!
SCOOBY: Ruh-roo! Riscous delicious!
(Cue laughter and theme music.)
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