Fan Fiction Friday: Father Mulcahy and the Cheesesteak
Alton Brown fan fiction crossover index
Fun Fact: The Philly Cheesesteak didn't get its cheese until 1951, right when this story is set in Korea. Before then, it was just a Philly Steak Sandwich.
[EXT. MESS TENT — EARLY EVENING]
The mess tent is already warm—not just from cooking, but from expectation. There’s a large griddle set up near the opening, its surface seasoned by use and anticipation.
ALTON BROWN stands beside it, arranging thin-sliced beef with care.
ALTON (to the audience)
Tonight’s dish is… relatively new. Still finding its way into the world.
(A few curious looks.)
ALTON
It’s a sandwich that started in Philadelphia. Beef. Onions. Bread.
He pauses, then gestures to a block of cheese waiting patiently at the side.
ALTON
And—this part is still under discussion—cheese.
(A ripple of laughter.)
[Enter :contentReference[oaicite:0]{index=0}]
Father Mulcahy steps forward, sleeves rolled, curiosity evident.
MULCAHY
I’ve had steak sandwiches before.
ALTON
This one’s… evolving.
Alton adds cheese to the sizzling meat. It melts quickly—perhaps too quickly—sliding, stretching, escaping.
MULCAHY (eyes widening)
Good heavens.
A strand of cheese drops. Someone laughs. Another tries to catch it with a plate and fails.
MULCAHY (quickly)
Just so we’re clear—today isn’t Friday.
The tent erupts with good-natured laughter.
ALTON
Checked twice.
[LIGHT PHYSICAL COMEDY]
Cheese stretches. Bread is overfilled. One sandwich threatens structural collapse before being rescued by an orderly with impressive reflexes.
[SERVING]
Sandwiches move out fast. Messy. Generous. Entirely unpretentious.
MULCAHY (taking a bite, delighted)
I believe this qualifies as pastoral care.
ALTON
It does leave an impression.
[LATER — THE CROWD THINS]
The griddle cools. A few plates are stacked. The camp hums with satisfaction.
Father Mulcahy lingers.
MULCAHY
Mr. Brown… would it be possible to set some aside?
ALTON
Of course.
MULCAHY
Sister Theresa’s Orphanage could use something warm. Something… generous.
ALTON
Consider it done.
[ONE-ON-ONE — QUIET]
The two stand near the edge of the tent.
ALTON (lowering his voice)
I should tell you—none of this was actually my doing.
Oh?
ALTON (pausing, but clearly)
Radar arranged the logistics. The permits. The supplies. The trip to Mrs. Potter. Everything.
(pause)
MULCAHY (soft smile)
That sounds like Walter.
ALTON
I’m trusting you with that.
MULCAHY
Some things do more good when they remain unseen.
(They share a quiet nod)
[FADE OUT.]
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